A year ago today, I slipped while hiking the pipe track and broke my fourth metacarpal. This was my first broken bone and as soon as I went down I knew it was more than a bruised hand. The pain of breaking a bone is quite indescribable and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Luckily it was a straightforward fracture and no surgery was required.
Once I had been attended to, I remember thinking to myself, what is the purpose of this? Why do I need to go through this? It seemed so unnecessary and frustrating. Well a year later, I would like to share several lessons that I learnt from this experience which can be applied to any situation:
1. Ask for help.
Why are we so afraid to ask for help? For me, being capable and independent is something I have always striven for. But sometimes that gets distorted into meaning I have to do everything myself so that it can be done exactly how I like it. Controlling much… When I worked as a manager and supervisor for a tour operator in Europe, I learnt that leaning on others is actually a strength. Not only does it show others that you believe they are capable but it also shows that you respect yourself enough not to burn out. I really thought I had that lesson down but it seems the universe had other plans for me. It turns out that being able to delegate in a work situation is different to asking your boyfriend to tie a plastic bag on your arm so you can shower, or asking your mother to wash your hair. These were lessons I had to learn. There were so many things I struggled to do one handed that I was constantly asking for help! Luckily I have a pretty amazing, supportive family and boyfriend so they were more than happy to lend a hand at doing the dishes or doing up my jeans when I had to go to a bachelorette and wearing tracksuit pants was no longer an option (thanks Mom!). This made asking for help so much easier.
2. Surrender control.
This is without a doubt, my WORST thing to do! I am a pure bred, 100% control freak. This is something I have to work on daily and constantly remind myself to be mindful of. So when you only have one functioning hand and the dishes need to be done, you simply cannot dictate how the dishes have to be done. You have to just be grateful that someone is willing to do them. Queue me smiling maniacally… Again, through the work that I do, I understand why trying to control everything is not helping me in the long run. But understanding and implementing are two different things. It seems the universe created a situation where I had no choice but to surrender control. I remember asking my Mom (see – asking for help) to do my nails as they grow really quickly. What I didn’t factor in was that I like my nails shaped differently to how my Mom does her nails. But you know what? I was grateful that someone was willing to do my nails and was even making the effort to do them how I liked them. If I had moaned about how they looked I doubt she would have been very willing to do them again. And let’s face it, does it really matter? Sometimes accepting things as they are will serve a greater purpose than trying to control how things could be.
3. Give yourself permission to be where you are.
So apparently when you break a bone it isn’t as simple as just patching it up and not using that bone for a few months. It also means being in pain and feeling tired constantly for the first few weeks. I couldn’t understand why all I wanted to do was sleep. It turns out healing a broken bone is a tricky affair and extra rest is vital to sustain your energy. As soon as I acknowledged that my body needed extra rest, I allowed myself to nap when I needed to nap. As a self-employed business owner, the pressure is constant to be busy and you feel like you have to somehow earn the right to not work during the day. Which is ridiculous because part of the pleasure of working for yourself means that you can take the afternoon off if you want to. Giving myself this permission, really lifted that weight off my shoulders. Also, acknowledging that healing a broken bone takes time, was a challenge. In a world of instant gratification, being told that I couldn’t drive for 6 weeks and having to plan ahead if I wanted to buy something simple like milk and eggs was a huge adjustment. But giving myself permission to be in that space of having to rely on others and having to surrender control, really helped ease the discomfort.
4. You are more resourceful than you think.
I had two choices – cry and give up or laugh and figure it out. Believe me, there were tears, mostly of frustration, but the times I chose to laugh instead were the easiest. Try buttering a piece of toast with one hand, it slips across the plate! Try cutting a steak. Try pulling your pants up after you go to the toilet. Try putting toothpaste on your toothbrush with only one hand. Try drying yourself with a towel after a shower. Try scrubbing a frying pan. Try doing up your bra! None of these are impossible but they did take some figuring out. Often with quite comical effect. My point here is that there is always another way. So I ate cereal instead of toast or I only wore pants without buttons for a while, and I took an Uber when no-one was free to drive me. There is always plan b, c, d….z! You are creative and you can figure it out.
5. Be grateful.
I know it may sound like I am having a moan about all the ‘first world’ problems I encountered but when you are feeling vulnerable it is the little things which make or break your day. There are so many things that I am grateful for that came out of this situation. I am grateful for my family, who were there every day to help me. I am grateful for my boyfriend who was such a champion and so supportive when I felt down. I am grateful that I work for myself so that time off was not a problem. I have no idea how I would have managed getting to work when I wasn’t allowed to drive, spending the full day concentrating, using a mouse (I’m right handed) and typing emails constantly. Truly, I am so grateful I didn’t have to go through that. I am grateful that the work I do is mostly verbal so I could continue coaching and not lose my income. I am grateful that my Dad is a doctor and was able to get me great medical treatment. I am grateful that I am part of a group of healers who helped me heal energetically once the physical wound was gone but the pain remained. I am grateful for each and every person who thought of me, sent me love or called to check on me. This really showed me that I am not alone in this world and that is truly something to be grateful for. The more I focused on how grateful I was the less I focused on all the things that were hard and challenging. This invited more things to be grateful for into my life and sped up the healing process.
These five lessons can be applied to any situation. They are themes that come up all the time in my life which means that despite the learning I have already done, there is still lots to go. I am sure the same can be said for you and the themes that come up in your life. Remember to be mindful, to breathe and to laugh at yourself. Cause in the end, all of this is what is empowering you to #LiveLifeAuthentically
